“Wow, his cough is really bad, I can’t believe you are bringing him in” – Says the mom holding a child with goop pouring out of her eye.
“Every time I drop my son off, Max seems to be crying”- Says the mom who’s child is screaming bloody murder every time I stop by for a lunchtime visit.
“When I came in today, your son was crawling right over my little boy” – Yes, he probably was considering he’s 9 months and hasn’t quite grasped common courtesy yet or the ability to go in any direction other than a straight line, even if it means crawling over whatever is in his path.
When these comments occur I usually smile and ignore the mom (the Dad’s never make comments. I like them better). I refuse to get into a “my child is the greatest" war with some over-competitive mom. However, the latest round of comments and questions involve me and not Max, making it hard to my tongue.
Now that Max is about move up to the toddler’s room (even if he isn’t anywhere near actually toddling) everyone is asking me “So when are you going to have another child?”. Some of the moms are already sprouting little baby bumps. Whenever I am asked this (in my opinion) very personal question it’s hard not to jump out of my skin. First, I can’t believe they are asking the question considering I barely know them and it’s none of their business. Second, the tone in which they ask implies that I should be absolutely craving a second child and it’s almost ridiculous that I’m not pregnant yet.
What I say is “No, I’m just enjoying spoiling Max”.
What I want blurt out (in one breath) is “Well, even though it’s none of your business no, I do not plan on having a second child anytime soon and the thought of it makes my reproductive system tremble with horror. I’m still mentally and physically recovering from a 34 hour labor and pushing out a 10lb 4oz baby and honestly at this point in my life I’m not entirely convinced that I even want to have a second child anymore because I’m having trouble adjusting to just having one kid. Plus, I want to lose about 50 more lbs before getting knocked up AND I want to run a half marathon next fall which will be really hard to accomplish if pregnant. Plus, after Max was born my mom made me promise I wouldn’t have another kid until he was at least two because she had two kids in quick succession and said it pretty much sucked. Really who wants to break a promise to their mom? Aren’t you glad you pried into my personal life even though you don’t know my first name*?”.
Now that I think about it, maybe I should give them my whole spiel. Perhaps it will freak them out enough that they’ll never talk to me again. That would be ideal because I foresee this conversation happening soon:
*P.S.- I don’t think there is anything wrong with having kids close together. I just know it’s not the path Brett and I should take.
Your posts always make me smile because you say what we are all thinking.
PS I can't believe Max is 9 months...when did that happen?
"Holy shit...Do you understand how disease works?" I love it!!
Bleh, the mommy competitiveness sounds obnoxious. Good for you for not playing their game. Also, my sister and I are almost 3 years apart and I think the age difference is pretty perfect.
I love your blog. I'm glad I'm not the only one with a head full of snarky comebacks - though I can usually only think of mine after I blunder through the awkward conversation.
Good luck dealing with the other moms.
HAHAHAHA! That video was awesome!
Don't sweat it, Lady. You have to do whatever's best for your family. Those other ladies are probably second-guessing their decisions. I was the last in a line of a lot of friends to have baby #2 (they are 2 1/2 yrs apart) and I have to say that after witnessing my friends' stress I'm so glad we waited. You're heart will tell you when it's time. Until then you're absolutely right -- keep enjoying Max!
I love that video. Love love love.
People can be so intrusive and rude with the Baby #2 questions... now that I am pregnant and the babes will be 20 months a part, everyone asks "Was it planned???" Like I would be crazy to plan it that way. But yes it was. But what if it wasn't? What would they say then?
And as far as the competitive parents go... I just have to nod and smile and judge them in my mind. Love your post!
Ugh. I detest those kinds of mothers. Don't they understand that the way to impress others is with self-deprecation and a sense of humor... not by making them feel inferior!
My first two are 3 years apart - Which, I love. The first one is old enough to where he doesn't need you for every little thing. Now, I'm due with #3 any day now and #2 is 1 1/2 years - I'm scared to death! At the time, it sounded like a good idea. Mostly because Scott and I wanted to make sure that we had time when we were empty nesters to live "our" life. Especially because we got pregnant with Hunter before we had time to live as a couple without kids. I know I'm in for a rough few years... to say the least... but hopefully once that "hump" is over I'll be glad about it. WE SHALL SEE!! HA!
"A baby seal just died"
Love that little movie!
And Can't STAND most other mommies.
But I'd probably like you.
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