“Wow, his cough is really bad, I can’t believe you are bringing him in” – Says the mom holding a child with goop pouring out of her eye.
“Every time I drop my son off, Max seems to be crying”- Says the mom who’s child is screaming bloody murder every time I stop by for a lunchtime visit.
“When I came in today, your son was crawling right over my little boy” – Yes, he probably was considering he’s 9 months and hasn’t quite grasped common courtesy yet or the ability to go in any direction other than a straight line, even if it means crawling over whatever is in his path.
When these comments occur I usually smile and ignore the mom (the Dad’s never make comments. I like them better). I refuse to get into a “my child is the greatest" war with some over-competitive mom. However, the latest round of comments and questions involve me and not Max, making it hard to my tongue.
Now that Max is about move up to the toddler’s room (even if he isn’t anywhere near actually toddling) everyone is asking me “So when are you going to have another child?”. Some of the moms are already sprouting little baby bumps. Whenever I am asked this (in my opinion) very personal question it’s hard not to jump out of my skin. First, I can’t believe they are asking the question considering I barely know them and it’s none of their business. Second, the tone in which they ask implies that I should be absolutely craving a second child and it’s almost ridiculous that I’m not pregnant yet.
What I say is “No, I’m just enjoying spoiling Max”.
What I want blurt out (in one breath) is “Well, even though it’s none of your business no, I do not plan on having a second child anytime soon and the thought of it makes my reproductive system tremble with horror. I’m still mentally and physically recovering from a 34 hour labor and pushing out a 10lb 4oz baby and honestly at this point in my life I’m not entirely convinced that I even want to have a second child anymore because I’m having trouble adjusting to just having one kid. Plus, I want to lose about 50 more lbs before getting knocked up AND I want to run a half marathon next fall which will be really hard to accomplish if pregnant. Plus, after Max was born my mom made me promise I wouldn’t have another kid until he was at least two because she had two kids in quick succession and said it pretty much sucked. Really who wants to break a promise to their mom? Aren’t you glad you pried into my personal life even though you don’t know my first name*?”.
Now that I think about it, maybe I should give them my whole spiel. Perhaps it will freak them out enough that they’ll never talk to me again. That would be ideal because I foresee this conversation happening soon:
*P.S.- I don’t think there is anything wrong with having kids close together. I just know it’s not the path Brett and I should take.