Adios Day Care

This week I turned in Max's "two week notice" at his day care.  He's been there for almost a year and in that year he's been sick approximately 4839204830 times.  Tests have been run to check for immune deficinies but he's totally fine. He's just more susecptible to catching a bug than your average toddler.

About a month ago, I got another "Come get your sick kid right now" call while I was at work. He hadn't been over his last fever but a week.  I burst into tears as soon as I hung up the phone.  I hated seeing my poor guy suffer.  I hated that he flipped out instantly upon walking into the doctors office. I hated watching finger prick after blood draw after antibiotic shot.  The poor child was a human pin cushion. I also hated that I was constantly leaving work or calling in to take care of him.  My co-workers (all parents as well) are sympatheic but people can only cover my butt for so long.

I made an instant decision.  I was pulling him out of that day care. I didn't know what the next step would be.  Quit working and stay at home? Smaller day care? Find a Babysitter? Some other option?  We needed a change, and soon.

It wasn't just the frequent illness.  There were other reasons I wanted him out of that facility.  Nothing major and nothing I want to air on the internet, but I knew a better option was out there.  Finding something new was an idea Brett and I have been kicking around for awhile but now it was time to take action.

We reseachered other facilities. I picked the brains of friends who were stay at home moms. (For those who answered me, thank you so much for your honest responses.) We interviewed babysitters.  We took a close look at our finances.  (And by me I mean Brett. I'm numbers incompetent).

After a few tears, a lot of prayers and several more gray hairs, we offered the job to a babysitter and she starts in just over a week.

I'm still nervous about this decision.  I'm weirded out that someone will be in my house while I am not there.  What if she sees our dvd collection or DVR que, sees we have terrible taste and runs without notice? I no longer have some of the flexibility I did with day care.  Running late or changing my schedule isn't as easy.  What will I do to make sure Max gets socilization with other kids?

However, outside of less exposure to germs, there are other benefits.  Max naps longer and more frequently at home. He can sleep later too, since most mornings we wake him up to get ready.  The additional sleep alone will help him stay healthy.  For me, I will now have 50-60 minutes (round trip) of kid free commuting that won't involve a screaming toddler or Bob the Builder DVD's blaring behind me. Also, since I won't have to get him up and ready for the day, I get an extra 30 minutes of sleep!

So it's time for Max's next chapter.  Who knows how it will go?  It could be the best thing to happen to him. I could be frantically scrambling to find help in 2 weeks.  I could get fired, having someone else make the stay-at-home-mom decision for me. Whatever happens I just want to end up in what is the best situation for my son.

Wish me luck because I suck at change!

Minature Salesman? I Don't Think So

When I was in Brownies I hated those freaking Girl Scout Cookies.  Ok, so I loved the cookies but hated that I needed to sell them in order to get a badge.  Every spring I put on my brown jumper and my Troop 183 sash and marched out into my neighborhood with an order form in hand.

Source

 As I rang the doorbell of the first house I would mutter a small prayer.

“Pleasedontbehomepleasedontbehomepleasedontbehome”
Even back then I LOATHED selling things.  I suck and fundraising of all sorts.  I would rather have lunch with Bill O’Reilly* then try to sell cookies or request donations in the name of a good cause.

My parents weren’t big fans of the process either because my Dad would NEVER take an order form to work.  Other girls in my troop had it soooooo easy.  Their parent would bring a form in and the next thing I knew they sold 150 boxes.  They got the easy way out and damn was I jealous.

Now, as an adult, I completely respect my Dad’s view on the matter.  At least weekly I am approached to buy cookie dough, ridiculously overpriced wrapping paper, religious magazines or a 10 lbs Christmas ham for someone’s kid.  I just don’t have the money to buy all that crap and I am starting to become immune to the evil looks shot my direction when I politely decline the opportunity to buy a ridiculous snowman statue most likely covered in lead paint.

I thought I would have several years before my kid was in an organization that was raising money by selling crap.

Wrong. 

When I picked him up from day care on Thursday among his empty bottles and daily activity sheet was a catalogue and a letter asking parents to hawk this shit for the school.

I almost stomped into the directors office screaming. “ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!  HE’S SIX MONTHS OLD!!!”  However, the day care is crazy close to work and I love the teachers so I didn’t want to risk getting kicked out.  Instead I scanned the letter, saw it wasn’t mandatory and promptly dumped the catalogue in the recycling bin.

We’ve got years of this ahead of us.  I’m not going to start before the kid can even talk. Although, I am sure if he came up to people looking like this:

We could make an absolutely killing.

However, out of principle I refuse to use my cute son to sell stuff.  Instead, I’ll save this face to convince friends and family to babysit. . 


*I dislike Bill O’Reillly more than Joy Behar

Friday Foodstuffs and PIF Friday!!

Holy Crap did we eat well over the week.  Pretty much everything but the Spaghetti and Meatballs was a success. The two dished I would most recommend are the Butter Chicken and the Basil Lime Fruit Salad.

The Butter Chicken was un-frickin-believable.  Seriously delish and super easy.  However, I only used about half of the cream the requested.  Next time I make it I am going try adding some veggies to the dish.  I also might branch out and instead of cream, use coconut milk.  If you can get it, I suggest serving a side of naan to sop up all the delicious and fattening sauce!

The Basil Lime Fruit Salad was an awesome complement to our "breakfast for dinner" night.  I've made it before and it's a nice twist from a regular fruit salad.  It's perfect for a summer picnic or perhaps a baby/bridal shower. Again, I'd half the amount of the simple syrup poured over the fruit, otherwise it buries the natural sweetness.

Our grocery bill has gotten a bit out of hand over the past few weeks so with this weeks menu I tried to focus on recipes made from stuff we already had on hand.  I did a sweep of the freezer and cupboards before deciding on a menu.

Saturday-Chili Honey Chicken thighs, Green Beans
Sunday Steaks-Garlic Crusted Parmesan Steaks, baked sweet potatoes
Monday- Asparagus, Goat Cheese and Lemon Pasta (recommended by Ms. Jenna)
Tuesday-Mexican Chicken Lasagna*
Wednesday-Leftover Pulled Pork, stove-top baked beans
Thursday-Curried Salmon Salad Wraps (my own recipe), Tater-Tots

*Do you have a Pampered Chef Deep Covered Baker?  No?  Well you should.  It's a lifesaver.

What you are eating this week?


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Pay it Forward Friday-

The kindest thing someone did for me this week comes from my boss.  We have a crazy week coming up and have been preparing for it over the last 6 month.  Since "The Event" is about to reach it's climax, there is much to be done.  More than I can accomplish in my measly 24 hour work week.  Yesterday, when I realized there was no way I could leave at my regular time, she cleared me for some overtime.  Then, she said "Why don't  you go get Max and bring him here".  So instead of letting the poor kid sit in day care for an extra 90 minutes, I ran across the street, picked him up and brought him back.  I always keep a blanket in my office and toys in my diaper bag so I plopped him on the floor and let him play at my feet while I finished up a few things. I loved having him there.  It made working on such an arduous task a little easier when I could turn around to see my cute little dude smiling up at me. My boss didn't have to allow such a non traditional work arrangement and I am grateful for her kindness in suggesting Max come hang with us.  I do think she loved some baby time too!

Spread some warm fuzzies by sharing the kindness bestowed on you!  Link up with Mama Nash.

A New Perspective

A local radio station is doing a radio-a-thon to raise money for St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital.

My mascara lasted all of 5 minutes into my morning commute.

Not only did they share the stories, both sad and hopeful, of families who needed St. Jude's but they did it while playing sad country music songs.  Songs that make me cry even without the heartbreaking stories of a small child's illness.

This happens every year.  I'm caught off guard by the radio-a-thon. I cry.  I donate a few bucks. I pray for the families that devastated by a child's illness.  But this year was different.  This year, through my sniffles and my tears I looked in my rear view mirror and glimpsed at a peaceful, sleeping, baby boy, nestled in his car sear, sucking on his thumb.  My peaceful, sleeping, boy.

And I cried harder then I had in previous years. While I can't imagine what those parents are going through, now I understand the type of love they feel for their child.  I have a small sense of the devastation they must be experiencing.  I feel a stronger connection to their story.  As a Mom, just the thought of something happening to my son feels like heavy weight crushing my chest.

When I looked at my sleeping baby I cried happy tears too.  Tears of joy and relief that my baby is healthy.  Tears because after he was born he got to go home right away.  Tears that even a trip to the hospital at 3 days old only warranted an IV, some time under the bili lites and just one nights stay before he was healthy again. 

He's only 5 months old and I know that maybe one day we could one of those families on the radio.  While I did say a prayer that Max remain healthy, it's not something I let myself worry about.  If it happens, we'll deal with it then.  No sense in making myself sick over a "could be".

Still, when I dropped him off at day care, I hugged him a little tighter and held him a little longer before handing him over to his day care teacher.  I gave him a few extra kisses before I left and I paused outside the classroom door for a few extra seconds before I went to work.

And when I got to work, I promptly redid my mascara.

Surviving Day Care.

The first two days of Day Care have been surprisingly stress free. I'm probably shooting myself in the foot for saying so but it's true. A fair bit of organization has helped.  The night before I get all bottles, breast pumps, extra clothes and lunch packed and ready to go. I even make sure the coffee machine is ready, down to my travel mug under the spout so I just have to hit "brew". Brett gets Max ready and I get myself ready so we can be out the door at the unholy hour of 6:30AM.  Even the drive is mildly pleasant. Max usually screams on car rides but the past two mornings he's been asleep the whole time, allowing me to catch up on world events courtesy of NPR. (It's not quite the same without Carl Kasell).

(please pardon crummy iPhone picture)

Dropping Max off has also been easy. I feel like a bad mom because I didn’t cry.  So many friends talked about how they cried for hours  after dropping off their baby for the first time. Not me.  I think I was too exhausted to cry. We are still not making progress on the sleep issue. Max, however, wasn’t very happy I was leaving. He gave me the wet eyed frown this morning and actually buried his head my shoulder when his teach went to take him.  There was some guilt on my end, but it was more that he was crying and I wasn't.  I was feeling guilty for not feeling guilty.  Catholic much?

I'm really happy with the day care (or school, which is what I call it to make it sound better).  The teachers are wonderful and of all the times I've stopped by unannounced not once was there a screaming child. In just two days most of the teachers know Max, not just the ones in the infant room. Another plus is that I don't have to go all day without seeing him.  During lunch I just walk down the hall, out the door and across a small parking to give my Little Man some lunch.  There is even a little comfy room where I can nurse him. I'm sure my feelings about going back to work would be much more negative if I didn't have such an ideal situation. Plus, when I came to get him at the end of the day, he was all smiles!

While I know there are going to be bad days, I hope this is a sign of things to come. I've even learned one really important lesson in all of this.  If you are a working Mom who is able to nurse their child during the day....be sure to have an emergency change of clothes in your office. Massive milk stains (or worse) aren't professional.

"Every new begining comes from some other begining's end"

"How was my maternity leave?  It rocked.  It rocked my ass off"- Pam Halpert, "The Office". 

Today is my last day of maternity leave. After 12 of the simultaneously shortest and longest weeks of my life, I have to leave my little man and go back to work.

It wasn't an easy decision to return to work.  We're lucky. I could have quit and it wouldn't have even required major budget cuts. However, I just couldn't leave.  I have a really good job and great bosses.  Sure it's stressful, like any job.  Sure, there were days during my pregnancy where at the end the day I thought to myself "Screw this, I'm not going back!" but when push came to shove I didn't want to leave. I'm good at my job. Darn good.  I like my co-workers. I LOVE the organization I work for. I didn't want to quit. 

I didn't want to work full time either.  I wanted to take my son on outings.  Take Kindermusic classes.  Go on picnics.  Be able to actually have time to run errands and clean my house. Many, many years from now, greet him with fresh baked cookies when he gets home from school.  Just like my mom did for me and my siblings.  .

I think I ended up with the best of both worlds. My bosses were more than willing to let me go back to work part time- Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.  That leaves me with a four day weekend.  Even better, my husband works 4- 10 hour days, so we have family 3 day weekends.

My major concern was child care.  I didn't know the first thing about day care and I wasn't crazy about the uncertainty that comes with a babysitter.  Luckily, Max was able to get into the day care at work. I can nurse him on my lunch!  Also, my job is nursing mom friendly and they provide a pumping room and hospital grade pumps.  I just have to bring my own parts. I feel secure with this option.

Still, when I actually think about going back, it's like someone is tearing a gullet through my heart.  I'm not ready to leave my little man.  What snuggles and coos am I going to miss?  I'm not ready to be fully initiated in the adult world either.  All I can talk about is poop color!  Am I ready to go back to monthly reports, meeting logistics and being the A/V Queen?   Heck, I don't even know where I put my employee badge!

I'm pretty sure that tomorrow will be filled with tears and when I get home I'll call Saint Brett the Awesome and tell him I want to quit.  And for the millionth time, he'll remind me of all the reasons why I don't. But for now, I have a little dude that needs snuggling after a long nap.


*Edit*  I realized I unintentionally used the word "gullet", which happens to be the first Word Up, Yo word!  Go me!