Preparing for Baby: The Necessary Stuff

A year ago my husband and I walked around Babies R Us in a daze.  We were surrounded by dozens of items claiming to make our child safer, stronger and smarter.  Everything seemed to have won an arbitrary parenting award or was the “#1 Pediatrician Recommendation” As I stood there trying to figure out which of the 17 styles of bathtubs would be best for my unborn child, I realized I hadn’t done my homework.  I didn’t need to read manuals or consumer reports.  I needed to talk to parents in the trenches.  Parents who were currently raising a newborn or young child and were using these products daily.
 

I hightailed my bulging belly out of the store and logged on to Facebook.  I sent a request out to all parents for “must haves” to place on my baby registry.I immediately received dozens recommendations for what items were absolutely needed and what would collected dust. Those suggestions from weary, spit-up covered parents turned out to be 100% spot on.

Now I have several friends who are navigating the terrifying world of preparing for parenthood and have come to me for advice.  As I started to rattle off suggestions, I thought I would create a list that I could share.  Then I realized that many fellow practical parents also read this blog and they probably have suggestions too.  Voila! Instant blog post! (I've been uninspired the past few days) Here are few things I couldn’t live without once Max with born*. 

1) AngelCare Monitor

 

http://www.angelcare-monitor.com

This is one of the most expensive monitors out there but the peace of mind it provides is worth every last penny.  Not only does it offer a clear sound quality but it also monitors the baby’s breathing.  If it doesn’t sense any movement for 15 seconds an alarm goes off.  Sure the occasional false alarm scares the hell out of me but its worth the mild heart attack.

2) Resinol

www.resinol.com

 This is a rather new addition to my diaper bag and I so wish I would have tried it sooner.  It’s an old-fashion skin cream that performs miracles on even the worst diaper rash.  It’s hard to find so I didn’t get it when my friend Kim (Hi Kim) first suggested trying the product. However, just last week when Max got the worst rash I’ve ever seen, and nothing else worked, I took her suggestion and found some at a local pharmacy.  Within 24 hours the rash we had been fighting for days was gone.

3) Exersaucer (any brand)

Sometimes, this is the only thing able to distract my screaming child long enough for me to use the bathroom. It doesn’t matter if it’s covered in flashing toys or one little whirligig.  Since he was 3 months old, the kid loves him some exersaucer.

4) Book- The Happiest Baby on the Block-Dr. Karp. 

HappiestBaby.com

 The advice in this book was the only thing that helped me survive those trying first three months. The book reads a bit like an overly enthusiastic infomercial and 100+ pages could have been pared down to about 10, but the “5S” system was the only thing that worked in getting Max to calm down when he started screaming.

5) Keurig

This isn’t the baby. It’s for you.  Back in the infancy of my blog, I discussed my affinity for this machine.  Coffee is and was my saving grace. Weekly, coffee pushes me onto solid ground when I'm teetering on the edge of insanity. When time is limited and I’m too exahausted to see straight, throwing a K-cup into a machine and hitting a button is so much easier then the steps required to make a pot of joe.  Babies R Us should really allow parents to add this to the registry.   

So fellow parents!  Help some mom and dad's to be out.  What products made that crazy time in your life just a little bit easier? 

* None of these companies are paying me to stay nice stuff.  I just really like their products.

 

The End of a (Very Short) Era

My breastfeeding relationship with Max is over. It's been hanging by a thread for weeks now and this weekend made me realize I need to end the fight.

I worked so hard breastfeed Max.  I've mentioned before how pre-pregnancy I was planning to breastfeed exclusively for a year.  Ha.  But after lots of tears, sore boobs, hours on breastfeeding message boards and multiple visits to the lactation consultants, I did eventually feed him breast milk exclusively. 

Then I went back to work.

My supply dropped immediately.  I went from pumping 8-9 oz to 2-3oz.  That's total, not per side.  I took fennugreek and drank dark beer with no results.  I tried pumping frequently but I was cramming 40 hours of work into only 24. Breaking away for 20-30 minutes was hard.  I found myself missing a pump without realizing it or getting called into last minute meetings screwing up my schedule. My frozen stash ran out and I eventually had to start supplementing his day care bottles

Max, getting more and more bottles at day care started to prefer them.  Getting him to nurse because increasingly frustrating and as of this weekend he just plain stopped. He screams when I try to nurse him and won't stop screaming until he gets a bottle

So today I realized it was over. After struggling to get him to nurse for 10 minutes I remembered what I vowed to myself when I went back to work.  "I'll breastfeed as long as I can.  When it's over, it's over and I won't drive myself bonkers trying to get it to work". So I gave him a bottle and I cried.

I cried that I couldn't be the "super mom" who worked, breastfed, cloth diapered, cooked organic meals every night and still managed to keep her regular eyebrow wax appointment. I cried because I now had to deal with smelly poop, constantly washing the ten million piece Dr. Brown Bottles, and the added formula cost to our budget. I cried because I don't get those extra 500 calories a day. I cried because I felt guilty. I cried because I felt like a failure.  I was a sobbing, mascara running, snotty-nosed hot mess. Hell, I'm still a hot mess as I write this post.

Most of all I cried because I felt that the special bond that Max and I shared had come to an end.  That final bit of physicality of our relationship that started when I was pregnant was over and I wasn't sure that I was ready for the end.

As my little cries turned into big sobs, Max reached up and put his tiny little hand around my pinkie finger and looked into my eyes. Then he spit the bottle out of his mouth and smiled at me. 

Maybe it will be okay after all.

Saturday Random Ramblings

1) I would classify our first purchase from the Savannah Food Co-op as successful.  The eggs we got are unbelievable and so much better compared to grocery store eggs.  Our CSA mixed box had impressive variety. We got gorgeous oranges, apples and plums for snacking and bananas for bread (since neither of us like raw ones). I've already made a stellar salsa with the Roma tomatoes and Vidalia onions and I used one of the lemons in a chimichurri.  This week we'll be making fries with the Yukon gold potatoes and I have a recipe in mind for the head of cabbage. Brett made me a tasty salad for lunch today using the tender green lettuce that I wish we got more of.  Next order we are going to try some of the grass fed meats along with the eggs and CSA box. As I ld learn to use my resources more wisely, I see some large orders in the future.

2) It's less than 100 degrees in Savannah this weekend. Nights have had record low temperatures! We took 2 family walks without melting!  It's an Independence Day miracle!! Speaking of the 4th, please don't blow you yourself this holiday weekend! Practice safe illegal fireworks displays!

3) When Brett and I received a battery powered nasal aspirator (or zombie bwainsucker, as we call it) for a gift, I thought it was another unnecessary and overpriced tool that we would never use.  Well, the experienced Mom who gave it to us knew better.  The thing is brilliant.  Max is on his second cold since birth and it's heartbreaking.  Seriously, if the kid could just blow his nose, all would be fine but since he can't the bwainsucker is the next best option.  When position changes and breast milk up the nose aren't enough to clear the crud, we break out the big guns and suck out the snot so the poor kid can breathe.  Plus, it seems to be far less traumatic for him than the bulb syringe. For those of you thinking it's just a waste of money, in my new mom opinion, it's worth spending the extra ching.

4) I have decided  to dive deeper into this blogging thing.  I'm researching designers to make the blog more eye catching and to better represent who I am. I've started participating in blogging communities and I'm devouring various how to's on blogging and social networking.  If anyone has any great communities or sites to share, please pass them along. Look for exciting changes over the next few months.

5) I really really really want to win the Spa Bleu giveaway from the The Wedding Studios of Savannah and Charleston.  Several friends have raved about Spa Bleu and if Teresa allowed them to be part of the The Studio than they must be stellar.  Check out the giveaway here.

Maximum Max- a week 15 update

Ok friends and family, I hear you.  You aren't coming out and saying it, but I can hear your thoughts. "Laura, that's great you and Brett starting eating steak on Sunday and you make cake in the microwave.  Sure, you love a couple of Dad's and you took a picture of a train. Good for you.  But we aren't reading this blog for you.  We want to know about Max!"  Fine.  I'll stop talking about myself for a minute.

You really want to know about Max?

Really really?

Well...he's a bit constipated and a bit cranky.   Oh, and now he has a cold.

Sorry, you asked

Actually, besides the issues mentioned above, Max is developing right on track.  At least I think so.  I stopped comparing him to what the "experts" say he should be doing because it makes me a bit insane. He's a week ahead in some places and a week behind in others. The past few weeks have had some pretty major milestones however.

The biggest development is that Max has started using his hands. He skipped the "batting at things" stage altogether.  He's grabbing at things and it's obviously intentional because when he gets a grip, the object goes directly to his mouth.  It was fun the first few days as he would swing and miss but now he's pretty accurate.  The only downside is I need to temporarily put away all my dangling earrings!

 

Another ADORABLE development is he is more verbal.  From yelps to coos to gurgles and the best- laughing, he is able to communicate more than "HOLY CRAP I'M PISSED SO FIX IT". It's totally awesome. Plus, he does this the most when we are changing his diaper, thus making a unfun task completley awesome!

I no longer dread car rides now that Max doesn't scream bloody murder the whole time. Instead, he looks around, maybe yelps once or twice and falls alseep.  It's adorable. And blissfully quiet.

Other things changing include:
-He notices himself in the mirror...and thinks he's hysterical
-He's working on sitting up and no longer despises his bumbo.
-He's able to play in his exersauser though he isn't 100% sure he likes it.
-He has rolled from tummy to back 7 times but most of the time does it when no one is looking.
-He still loves that damn bear

The only thing that isn't going well is the lack of sleep at night.  He's an adorable angel during the day but at night he's screaming  every 2 hours.  We've tried EVERYTHING but he doesn't want to sleep.  It's one thing after another.  When we finally figured out a good feeding schedule, he decided he doesn't want the swaddle all night long.  When he finally broke the swaddle habit, the constipation thing happened.  Once his tummy troubles were under control he got a cold.  So, we keep trying things to get him to sleep for more than a few hours at a time.  We all keep begging praying that one night a switch will flip and he'll sleep for a long stretch, every night. Unfortunately, my gut is telling me we have another 9 months of this.  Brett and I no longer find coffee effective.  Instead, we just ingest caffeine into our veins.

I don't want to complain too much. He's healthy and that is all that matters. All in all, he's a pretty wonderful kid and my life is better with him in it.

Houdini Baby

Max needs to be swaddled to sleep.  Otherwise he punches himself in the face and wakes up every 20 minutes.  When upset, he calms down as soon as he's wrapped up tight. The only problem is he breaks out of every swaddle out we've tried- blanket swaddle, Sleep Sack swaddle and the Swaddle Me swaddle pictured above.

We are running out of options.  Duct tape maybe? 

I kid I kid.  But, if anyone knows of an industrial strength swaddle, let me know!