If Jon Hamm walked into my room right now and declared his undying love for me, the conversation would go a little like this.
Him: "Oh Laura, I love you so much. You are sexy and witty and everything about you is perfect. Run away with me and we'll live together on a tropical island where servants will bring us fruity drinks served in coconuts any time we want, even at breakfast."
Me: "Wow! Thanks for saying such nice things about me, Jon Hamm. I appreciate it very much. However, I will not run away with you"
Him: "No, I can't stand that answer. Why won't you run away with me, you gorgeous woman?"
Me: "Because Jon Hamm, 5 years ago today, I stood before God and my family and married Brett, the most handsome, sexy, hilarious, intelligent, creative, caring, patient, kind, badass man in the entire world. You don't hold a candle to his awesomeness. There is nothing you can say that would make me leave someone so perfect".
Him: "What if I promised a full time massage therapist on staff on our private island?"
Me: "Sorry Jon Hamm. Even unlimited massage therapy could not make me as happy as Brett does"
Him: "As much as it pains me to say it, it appears I could never be as wonderful as your husband. I wish you two many more happy years. He is a lucky man".
Happy 5th Anniversary, Brett. Every day I wake up feeling blessed that I got to marry such a great guy. I'm lucky to call you my husband and Max is lucky to call you his Dad. We've had good times and bad and through all of our challenges, we've come out stronger.
I love you.
Ha! Take that John Hamm! Go home to Liz Lemon and cry into your orange gatoraide chicken!
Love you babe!
Happy Anniversary, Laura! It was so great to spend time with you and Max today. I hope to see you guys again soon. Enjoy your night of ribs and gambling!
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