Saturday, June 26, 2010

Parental Advisory

I really hate kids music. Singing about farmers, bus wheels and bumblebees gets really old really fast.  However, Max loves it when I sing.  I have a terrible voice yet enjoy singing.  Therefore, I am not going to turn down an opportunity to sing for a happily captive audience. What to sing is starting to become a problem because I just can't pretend to enjoy the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" after the 19th time.  So I've started to sing popular songs which makes both of us happy.

The problem?  Most songs I know are entirely inappropriate.  I realized this when singing a medley of Journey hits; a Max favorite.  I'm no Steve Perry but when belting "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'" Max squealed in delight.  It was then I realized that maybe a song about "lovin', touchin', squeezin' another" probably isn't a lesson best taught to a 3 month old. So I racked my brain for other options but drew a blank.

Max started protesting over the lack of music and I panicked.  Once the squealing gets rolling it's hard to stop him so I just started signing the last song I heard on my iPod.

"They tried to make me go to rehab/I said no no no"

That's right, in a moment of panic, I sang Amy Winehouse to my child...and he LOVED it. I respectfully withdraw my nomination for Mother of the Year. 

That got me thinking about our car trips.  Most mornings I'm the boring mom in the family sedan listening to public radio. Occasionally especially after a bad day, I like to pretend that I'm actually hip and blare music that doesn't fit the Ford 500 with the Disney family stickers. Pretty soon Max is going to start repeating what he hears.  I need to start paying attention to my music selection before he starts telling people how he has 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. 

I can see the note from the day care teacher already.

9 comments:

Jenn said...

I'm not a mother so I'm probably the wrong person to have an opinion on this, but I think little kids singing inappropriate pop songs that they don't understand the lyrics to is adorable!

Brett said...

I put Max to bed last night with "Enter Sandman". I figured it was appropriate because if the sandman part. Was I wrong about that?

Nina @ Momma Go Round said...

hahahahahaha......hilarious! You make me feel like a better mother cause I listen to all that garbage too! We aren't into the kiddie music, but if I have to listen to the Elmo's World or Abby's Flying Fairy School theme 1 more time.....

Katie said...

when i was pregnant brendan used to bounce around to miley cyrus, party in the usa... so, thats not really much better... and i sing it now and he still loves it :-)

Katie said...

Download all your favorite childhood movies sound tracks. Lex loves Aladdin :)

Dani G said...

I don't even really know any kids music so when my bird was a baby, I'd rack my brain for a lullaby to sing to her- nothing! I knew nothing. So, the Brady Bunch theme song became her naptime lullaby.
She's obsessed with my iPod. Loves Jay-Z and Kanye. I don't dig censorship so I don't mind her hearing most of the lyrics. But that song on my husband's iPod about sliding down the pole? I'll let the bird skip that one!!

mrstummy said...

When I was on maternity leave, and basically nursed only in her room, we listened nonstop to John Legend's "Live in Philadelphia". Then I realized that singing songs that I've dubbed "baby makin' music" probably wasn't a good idea. Til this day though, if you pop in any of his CDs, she knocks out pretty quickly. Ooops.

Jenny said...

A lull in the action around here often prompts my 3 1/2 yo to start singing: "If you like pina coladas...gettin' caught in the rain...if you're not into yoga...if you have half a brain...if you love makin' love at midnight..."

When he sings it out in public it gets laughs. Our friends thing we have coolest kid on earth. It should be noted, however, that he hasn't started school yet. I can already picture the phone calls his teacher is going to receive when he starts teaching the other kids how to sing: "I can't get no, sa-tis-fac-tion..."

Sweet B said...

Have you seen this clip from Friends? I absolutely love it, and reading about your little guy made me think about it :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kelmDTjj0AI

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